New apartment. New people. New culture. New language.
The thrills of moving to a new country encompass you. Suddenly, the adrenaline of a new journey awakens you, as you see endless opportunities for growth and adventure.
Yet just as quickly as the excitement arose, your stomach drops, forming a pit. A pit - the emptiness you feel as you notice you are alone. Without friends, family, or familiarity, you must acclimate, settle in, and transform the unknown into a home.
Whether we are moving to a new country, a new state, or a new city – locational transitions are almost inevitable. The logistical hurdles can consume us as we plan and cause us to forget the weight that such a move can have on our minds and spirits. It is a trap with which I am all too familiar. Naively moving to Central America, on a whim deciding to spend a summer in Spain, or choosing to study in the UK. Housing – sorted. Flights – booked. Externally – composed. Internally – woefully unprepared.
The reasons for such changes can be vastly different. Relocating for a job, moving closer to family, or perhaps, finding oneself. Whatever the reason, there is a fundamental truth that is unspoken and therefore often forgotten. When we learn about indigenous peoples staying put for generations, overwhelmingly content with their lots in life, or we question our grandparents about how they have lived in the same small town for 50 years, there can often be doubt, almost a pity. Don’t you know what you are missing out on? The world is so beautiful and diverse, so many adventures await! Let’s pause. The last exclamation there is a wholly accurate, yet it does not mean that the preceding question is true. How is this possible? And how does this connect to transitions? Bear with me.
The reason the world is so inviting, and travel is so alluring, is not for the reason that social media and travel agencies push. They subtly (or not so subtly) push a narrative that international landmarks and beauties of nature are the reason you travel. Are those both amazing tangential experiences – absolutely! But what makes travel truly beautiful? It’s the people. People you meet who think differently than you, who believe different things, whose perspective is opposite to yours. Experiencing these cultures, I’m convinced, is what turns vacationers into lifelong travelers. Being invited into a new culture is what makes you appreciate your own, yet long to keep experiencing others’. Again, I know you’re thinking, how in the heck does this connect? We are almost there.
What makes or breaks an experience, a location, a season in life, is more often than not the people. Take it from me, you can have as much fun with your best friends and family in (insert your least favorite geographical location here) than you can isolated in Paris, or London, or Casablanca. This is the key. To life, to transitions, to feeling settled. The people. The Lord created us to live together, in community. That is why your heart warms when you see beautiful examples of human connection – from someone sacrificing to support an orphan in Haiti to going out of their way to help an elderly person cross the street. Human connection and love is what our hearts long for. That is why your grandmother cherishes her life in her small hometown, because she had her people. Did she forego some experiences, whether by choice or necessity, that could have been enriching and thrilling? Absolutely. But she is content because of the people.
So now it all comes together. When you find yourself in a new place and you feel unsettled, anxious, and homesick, what do you do? Of course to some degree you will need time and emotions will fluctuate, but concretely, what do you do? You find people. You don’t need to find your lifelong friends, just find someone with whom you can connect. Someone at work, someone in the park, maybe even the McDonald’s employee. And you know what’s crazy and what can happen? As you brave into the unknown and take that first awkward step to initiate conversations, and you give it a little time like we just mentioned, you just might find that those “someones” you spoke with on a whim in search for connection become lifelong friends. They turn intimidating new land into a welcoming environment. They turn the unknown into a home.
