There are those seasons in all of our lives that create an imprint of nostalgia, that when later reminisced on, bring back a sense of calm and pleasure to the forefront of our minds.
On the contrary, there are opposite seasons that have created scars and when thought about, feelings of angst and hurt flood our being.
I’m sure we can join hands in agreement that the scales are unfairly tipped for the later of the two scenarios to weigh heavier. If only the nostalgic moments of life overshadowed the scars left behind by unforgiving seasons of transition.
When I think of going through another transition, those fight and flight instincts kick in. There goes my heart beating fast again - just the thought! Everything in me fears what another transition could do to me.
I think something in a human breaks when they go through change. Some find the necessary coping skills they need - others are left confused, needy, then beaten down by their experience. The difficulty is that not one transition is the same, because we’re all different.
I could map out all the transitions I’ve been through and tell you about the bad and the good that has come of each, but that’s boring. I’ll get to my point instead.
How do you process information? Are you an internal processor or an external processor? After you’ve determined that - the next steps you take will look different for each person.
I’m a deep internal processor. It takes me a long, sometimes wearisome, journey to figure out what and why I am feeling a certain way. Journaling, taking a walk and eventually talking with someone who is good at getting me to talk is what I need.
For the external processor, the journey may not end with talking to someone but instead start with talking to someone who is great at listening.
All of that was just to know what you are feeling and maybe even understand why. The coping or healing required then comes with pro-active steps.
In our world today here are some ideas:
- Detox your life from the things that negatively impact you. That could be social media, Netflix, reading - really anything that takes you away from reality. Do it gradually, deleting one app at a time or challenging yourself simply not to scroll.
- Get outside at least once a day for a few minutes. You don’t even have to walk. I’m not a runner. With my baby boy taking walk with the stroller is an easy activity for both of us. But some of you may be too weary to even walk, take a chair out to the back yard or balcony and just sit in the sun with a blanket and your tea or coffee for just 5-15 minutes. No technology. Just let yourself be aware of your mind and body.
- Get in the shower or bath. Let the warmth of the water warm your body and allow yourself to relax and decompress.
- Be creative. Creativity is part of our human nature and it looks different for everyone. It could take the form of writing, cooking, drawing, painting, renovating, knitting, building, choreographing, organizing, arranging flowers, etc. Whatever it is that brings you joy to do, do it.
- Community. Last, but certainly not least. In days where we are so isolated from people choose a day or two out of the week to be proactive in getting together with someone. We NEED community in the flesh - whether it’s family or friends.
It’s easy for us to hold tight and dwell on the scars left behind by difficult, maybe even unwanted, change. By detoxing certain things in your life, giving yourself some self-care, being creative and finding whatever community you can - you are actively fighting for more seasons that will bring the beauty of nostalgia to the forefront of your mind.
Break off relationships that aren’t helpful.
